Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Australian social system explained.

Don’t forget to give a thought to Peter Spencer, who is on a hunger strike because his land was taken away from him by the government without paying for it. The following tale may suitably apply to him. - Werner
The possum and the grasshopper.
The possum works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the possum is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the possum should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the possum in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Labor Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights, The Greens and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of the possum's house.

The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Nelson Mandela Gardens with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Sharan Burrow rants in an interview with Tony Jones that the possum got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the possum to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The possum's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The possum's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the possum has to downsize and start building a new home.

The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane at Sydney Airport as they felt threatened they had to share their country of origin with mice.

On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australia's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.

Initial moves to make them return to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.

The cats are granted asylum in Australia and proceed to devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards!

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the possum's food, though spring is still months away, while the Government house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

He is shown to be taking drugs.

Inadequate local government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drugs "Illness".

The cats seek recompense in the Australian Courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drug habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding for a drug rehabilitation scheme incorporating anger management for the grasshoppers.

Legal aid funds for a Parliamentarian's wife who happens to be a lawyer representing asylum seekers is not only made available but increased.

The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.

The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and the grasshopper’s traumatic experience of prison.

They call for the resignation of the Opposition Leader who supported the possums.

The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Australia.

The possum, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.


My thought for today. – Werner

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. Isaac Asimov.

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